The Big “C”

I’ve had a day of talking shit.

Yep, lots of crap has been talked about today.

No, I don’t mean that kind of crap.

You know you’re in good company with fellow dieters on low calories, low carb diets, when you can talk about the big “C” all day and no one bats an eyelid.

So far, I have psyllium husk, Slimatee (thanks F and L) for prevention and Senokot and Movicol (thanks Ms K) for cure. Perhaps you could share your own preventive and cure remedies?

C is for…



My Favourite Things…

One of my all time favourite movies is the Sound of Music. I discovered that a friend also loves this movie and so for her birthday, I borrowed some lines from the movie…

Brown paper packages
Tied up with string
These are a few
Of my favourite things

Seriously Fräulein Maria? Is this really one of your favourite things? Brown paper packages, tied up with string? Are you kidding me chick? Do you need to get out a bit more sweetie? OK, just joking. Each to his own. Whatever turns you on missy.

Could I really pull this off in 2015 by wrapping a birthday present in brown paper and tying it with string? This could seriously backfire on me…

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Thankfully, (phew!) my friend liked her package (and of course the present inside), especially when I accompanied giving her the gift with the sound effect of playing My Favourite Things from the Sound of Music on Sonos. Thanks Spotify.

Happy Monday.


Day 42: Surviving the Weekends

Weekends used to be the nail in the coffin of my diets. I would choose to somewhat relax or suspend diets weekends and resume Mondays to Fridays. That of course meant that I was still dieting 80:20 (80% good, 20% bad) which works for some people but just not for me. The reality of having the weekends off to eat the same as DH meant that given my severe sensitivity to carbs, I would usually spend most of the next week, trying to lose the weight gained over the weekend, before losing any more weigh. This of course meant yo yoing on weight loss and without much progress.

This is one of the reasons I love the Cambridge diet. I love the strictness of what I can and cannot eat. And if I stick to the diet 100%, like I have done every single day since I started, weekends can just be treated like any other day.

If I really want to go from this stimulation of my starting weight…


To this hotness, then no cheating. EVER.


I think that with a little bit of imagination and effort, my weekend meals don’t need to be pathetic in comparison with DH’s. OK, as much as I enjoy the taste of all the flavours, not much can be done to sex up my morning Cambridge porridge but I can make an effort with the evening meals.

Last night, DH had our favourite leek and chives sausages, with potatoes, chutney, and of course gorgeous red wine. I made myself…wait for it, some delicious leek, spring onions and chives sausages with chicken from my allowance and served with salad from my allowance. I also treated myself to a rare diet coke. Rock and Roll.

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This morning, DH had our usual breakfast of coffee, smoked salmon and poached eggs. He added toast to his, I wouldn’t usually have toast. I had a Cambridge porridge and latte using my milk allowance.

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He is slim. I am fat.


Day 40: Week Six Weigh-In

I’m not a happy bunny with today’s weigh-in. I just don’t understand how I can weigh 0.9kg more downstairs than I weighed in my nightie upstairs using the same bloody scale, especially if the lower weight has been consistent all week. And no, I haven’t changed my usual official weigh-in clothes with my consultant.

But never mind. Whatever mind game my scale is playing, a loss is a loss even though I will have to officially record a pathetic 0.6 kg, instead of the 1.5 kg I had been secretly chuffed with last couple of days especially given that the painters have been in all week. The perils of daily weighing.


Week Six verdict: Today’s weight 112.7 kg, weekly weight loss 0.6 kg (1.3 pounds); total weight loss; 11.7 kg (25.7 pounds)

I am sooooooooo tantalisingly close to the elusive 2 stone mark; only 1.1 kg (2.4 pounds).

C’mon body, let’s hit this target.

Screw all that whining, I have lost weight in SIX consecutive weeks! I have lost 26 pounds in LESS than six weeks!!!!


One more for the weekend?


101 Things You Can’t Do When You’re Fat

Number One: Skinny Girls in Rock/Pop Concerts

DH and I went to a very enjoyable, I dare say, romantic, Van Morrison’s concert last night at the Royal Albert Hall for a most worthy cause, the Teenage Cancer Trust there goes I but for the grace of God, not that I’m in danger of becoming a teenager any time soon.

OK, Van the Man isn’t exactly rock and roll or one of those open air concerts that make you feel young, vibrant and alive but it got me thinking…

Whenever I go to those types of concerts, there are always annoying skinny girls grooving, waving their skinny arms around and wiggling their perfectly formed pert bottoms whilst sitting on top of their fit men’s shoulders. They always seem to be wearing the tiniest of shorts that wouldn’t even fit a 10 year old. Perhaps you’re one of those girls. I promise I’m not hating. I’m not at all jealous. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. OK, maybe a teeny weeny bit.

Conert girl

Well, true confession but I have always wanted to be one of those girls. The reality of my life in like forever, is that if I had ever attempted to get on top of the shoulders of any man, (I don’t care if he’s an Olympic Heavy Weightlifting Gold Champion) to wiggle around in loud music, there are only three options that I can imagine for that lovely man:

Option 1: Leave the concert with permanent brain damage from my trunk like thighs crushing his skull.

Option 2: Leave the concert in a wheelchair with damaged spine, never to walk ever again.

Option 3: Leave the concert in a body bag. End of life (his, not mine) as we know it.

fat girl on man's shoulder

Given those three options, I think it is only fair to say that one of those things that you can never do (or rather “should not do” given the brave souls in these photos) when you’re fat is sit on your man’s shoulders and rock it out.

You’ll be glad to hear that this is one dream I might just leave in dreamland. Given that I am a 41 years old woman, when I am skinny, I might just leave this for teenagers and twenty something years olds.

Another fat girl

Note to self: Act your age, and not your shoe size.

And if you’re really that interested, I wear a size 6.


That time…

It’s that time of the month. You know. The painters are in. Auntie Flo’s in town. Bitchy Witchy week. Blow Job week (easy tiger.) Clean up in aisle One. Crimson Tide. Code Red. Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band (say what?) Discharge from the Uterine Navy (WTF?!)

I could do this all day.

That time of the month is of course usually an excuse to pig out on carbs. It’s the hormones. I can’t help myself. It’s the water retention. I haven’t really eaten anything “that bad”. So many excuses and absolutely nothing to do with hand to mouth.

Well…not this time.

I don’t care what is happening inside my body, raging hormones pushing me to forget free will and gorge myself with junk food. Water retention causing me to gain weight. I have absolutely no control what my insides are doing. What I do have control of though, is sticking to my diet 100%. Drinking my 4200ml of still water daily. That’s all I can control.

Whatever the scale says when I officially weigh on Friday, I will be proud of myself because even the angry painters and dreadful auntie Flo will not cause me to step away from the diet even for a teeny weeny bit.

Hell no.



Day 34 – Reasons to Lose Weight

On 5th January, 2015, I wrote a list of reasons why I would like to lose weight. I carry this list around with me inside my DietMinder; my food and fitness journal. As an aside, I have used a DietMinder every single day for a decade or so, to record my daily food and drink intake, exercise and of course weight. This book has become very expensive over the years, so I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re after a food and exercise diary because there are many other books in the market. I keep buying them because I am a woman of habit.


I have decided to record these reasons here, perhaps taking stock of where I am so far with this list. Early days, yes, but some progress nevertheless.

So here goes with bracketed comments:

1. Nearly as fat as prior to previous weight loss. [Not anymore. As of today, I am 14.1 kg (31 pounds) smaller]
2. Feel huge, expanded, wide, my clothes can barely fit me. [My clothes are looser; I now wear smaller sized bras]
3. Too fat to walk, function, get in and out of bed, in and out of bath. [Getting better. Bath is fine now]
4. My beautiful house deserves a beautiful resident. [Give myself a break. I am beautiful fat or slim]
5. My insides must be awful to correspond with the outside. [Easy woman. Note no 4. How about that break?]
6. Spots on face and sore starting on side. [Sore gone. Only occasional stress spots. Tough year!]
7. New chair will feel silly and forced with fat resident. [I packed away this fancy chair. I will start using it again when I’ve lost 12.8 kg from today’s weight. Problem solved.]
8. Slim down, get fit. [Hear hear. Let’s keep doing it. Rome wasn’t built in a day.]
9. Forget sex, can barely move legs. [Erm…no comment.]
10. Tray in aircraft, so embarrassing. [That fat moment when your food tray hangs mid air because you are too fat. I’m confident this is gone! I’ve lost a whooping 9 inches from my waist.]
11. I’m acting like I’ve given up on babies. [I was but not anymore. However, no more priority for this quest.]
12. I felt hot slimmer. This is ridiculous. [Yep, bring on the H.O.T. me.]
13. Hand -> mouth -> fat [That’s right. Nothing passes this mouth without my say so.]


14. Dicing with diabetes. [I have PCOS, diabetes is the next step. Not happening to this chick. No way!]
15. Restricted life. Imagine all I can do on holiday if slim. [Well…so let’s keep going then.]
16. Stupid to be this fat. [Extremely stupid to be fat when I can do something about it. I’m doing it.]
17. Struggled to walk in plane. What’s the alternative, wee in pants as too fat and lacking in confidence to walk in plane? [That fat feeling when you walk in turbulence or worry about fitting into plane’s toilet.]
18. Babies, babies, babies, babies. [As the song goes, one day at a time…sweet Jesus.]
19. Get fit, feel better. [I hear you baby. Let’s keep doing what we’re doing.]
20. Strain on chair max exceeded as of today. [Not anymore. I’m good with that particular chair.]
21. Strain on brand new baths. They will crack. No contest. They really will. [They won’t, not anymore.]
22. Make myself proud again. [Done! I am proud of myself. Note to self: Keep making yourself proud.]
23. Start something, finish it FFS. [I start, I finish. No messing.]
24. Promise St Thomas doctor. [I told a doctor I would be 40 and slim or 40 and fat from pregnancy. I failed.]
25. In my 40s, downhill all the way, ill-health in old age. I have time to sort it out now or misery ahead. [That’s right. I’m not only increasing my life span by losing weight, I am increasing the quality of life.]
26. DH doesn’t deserve a fat wife. [I am doing this for me.]



Day 33 – Weeks 4 & 5 Weigh-in

My Cambridge consultant was away last week, so no official Week 4 weigh-in.

I’m thrilled to report that I have now lost weight five weeks in a row. That’s most definitely a record for me in any diet ever.

I am also very proud of myself that in very difficult personal circumstances, I kept to my diet 100%. This reassures me that this is finally my time not only to lose weight but to maintain the weight loss. Emotional eating and all the triggers of overeating or eating junk food when the shit hits the fan, are now firmly in the past.

This diary will serve as a strong reminder that I can take whatever life throws at me without the destructive and vicious cycle of weight gain.

I get to decide whatever I put inside my mouth. End of.


Week Four and Five’s verdict: Today’s weight 113.3 kg, weight loss in two weeks 2.7 kg (5.9 pounds); total weight loss; 11.1 kg (24.4 pounds)

I am only 1.7 kg (3.74 pounds) from the two stone mark! OMG!

Gold stars all round.

way to go


Days 30/31 – Utopia

Recent woes meant that I was stressed beyond belief and in desperate need of respite. I needed a little escape from my woes and on impulse, (an hour or two forethought), booked myself into a peaceful gorgeous London hotel, where I could soak away my troubles for just one night.


My last minute oasis, meant that I was ill-prepared and didn’t have the right Cambridge Weight plan products with me on the go. I could have taken a tetra (ready-made shake) if the hotel stay had been pre-planned; I had two of those at home. I only had a powdered shake with me which I needed to prepare hot or cold.

Given my very disturbed, unhappy state of mind as I looked at the breakfast menu, the pre-Cambridge me would have treated myself to breakfast in bed, most likely, the organic full English breakfast, with a pastry basket, full of carbs. Goodness knows after days of little sleep, I would have been gagging for some carbs.

Well…not this time.

Instead, I stuck to the diet 100%.

For breakfast, I boiled some water and poured into a spring water container, (don’t try this at home!), spooning the shake into narrow necked bottled with a little spoon. I counted to 200 as I had a little work-out shaking the bottle, and there you have it; a warm chocolate orange shake for breakfast. Not quite as nice as my blended shake, but nevertheless, a Cambridge diet breakfast.

I was still a 100 %er.

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My gorgeous room on the 44th floor at the Shangri-La Hotel at the Shard London, with amazing views of London was indeed as promised; mystical, harmonious, earthly paradise utopia, a little piece of happyland isolated from the outside world, m idyllic hideaway.


Whilst I couldn’t escape my head and my troubles enough to get some sleep, I loved my night alone. It reminded me of that old saying: when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life…