I love fashion.
Modesty apart, I have a great sense for fashion. I don’t necessarily mean expensive taste, just good taste. When I dress up, my clothes are usually matched with perfect accessories, and even if they are cheap fashion jewellery on sale from Debenhams, I can still make them look fabulously put together.
I am that girl that would not be seen dead taking out the bins without lipstick and nail polish.
DH rolls eyes at the once in a blue moon I actually take out the bins. I am also that girl friends Whatsapp or email photos of themselves in cleverly lit changing rooms as they try and decide what clothes to buy for special occasions. In my time, I’ve been known to gently say:
“I’m sorry darling, but that outfit does nothing for you.” This of course would be followed by a: “Why don’t you try this and that with that and I’m sure you’ll look fab.”
These friends keep coming back to me because they know they will get an honest opinion from me and they are confident that together, we can choose the perfect look for them. One friend was ecstatic when I stopped her from wearing a hideously unflattering white outfit for her son’s Christening. Instead, I helped her lose 22 pounds in 2 months by a personalised daily low carb diet I had designed for her and which she followed religiously. For the Christening, we choose a fabulous outfit that said: Look at me world. I’ve just had a baby but I am slim, classy and sexy as hell.
She was so enthralled that she put together some marketing materials touting me as a stylist and weight loss expert. I’m sad to say that my weight held me back. Whilst I am happy to help as many people as I can lose weight, and keep the weight off, or style them in a way that makes the best of their body size, I couldn’t really envisage a small business doing so or styling anyone when I hadn’t conquered my own weight demons. Have you ever seen a fat fashion stylist? I haven’t.
I have always been a believer that you must not suspend your life waiting to lose weight in order to live life to the fullest you can. I’ve also often advocated dressing the size that you are; rocking it out whatever size you are and making the best of whatever assets you think are your best, whilst of course making positive changes to lose weight. I just don’t believe people that say that they are happy being fat.
I think that no matter who you are and how unhappy you are about your weight or any other aspect of our body, we all have some redeeming factors. The world “ugly” does not exist in my vocabulary. It might be very difficult to find or even to accept the beauty within all of us, but there is always something that makes any woman beautiful.
If you think your face is beautiful and your body crap, take time with your face make-up and be the supermodel that you are. Even if your eyes or lips are the only thing you like in your face, rock them. If you have nice legs, wear shorter skirts and dresses and show off those legs in high heel shoes. If you’re blessed with magnificent breasts, flaunt them…whilst of course making sure you don’t look like a hoochie mama by flaunting both your legs and your breasts; it’s one or the other ladies!
If underneath your flab, you have a tiny waist, accentuate it. If you are blessed with long growing feminine nails, embrace them and teach yourself how to give yourself the best manicure at home without spending a fortune in a salon.
I am therefore sad to report that I have fallen foul of those things I have long advocated; rocking the body you have, and making the best of your assets. OK, the face make-up and nails have not slipped but my clothes have. As my horrid 2014 continued, I stopped wearing my jeans, stopped wearing anything that looked like fitted clothes; stopped wearing colours, replaced by black and more black loose fitting clothes. I did this without any huge realisation that I had stopped wearing those things because they no longer fitted.
I had gotten rid of all my fat clothes after I lost 6 and a half stones in 2011, and I have refused to buy bigger sized clothes. I just won’t. However, the more vibrant colours in my wardrobe sit there gathering dust. In their place, I have been wearing black on black. OK, winter might have something to do with warmer colours but I think my weight has more to do with this. I have also been wearing loose-fitting maxi dresses even as I write this, those sizes 14 and 12 dresses, still fit as they fitted following my big weight loss even though I am significantly heavier. I wear my comfortable M&S black trousers with elasticated waists, oblivious of the fact that some of these continue to “fit” because the elastic have long gone. The sizes on them say 14 and 16 even though I know that I am at least a size 18 or even a size 20. I really don’t know what my correct size is and I don’t necessarily wish to know because I am not buying bigger sized clothes and whatever size I am, it is going down.
This week, I pledge to try my jeans and acknowledge the fact that they no longer fit. Perhaps every month, I could try them until they finally fit. I will try the more fitted clothes that I have avoided, and if they don’t fit, keep trying them until they do. I will wear more colours and not the black on black that have crept into my daily wears. I will embrace the weight that I am, own it, rock it and make it the best that I can make it, whilst I continue to work on the body that I wish to have.
I will not wait until I have lost another three stones to start living again. I will rock the size that I am…today. I shall not wait until I am the size that I wish to be to rock it out.