I survived court.
On the 15th anniversary of the day we met, my ex and I doggedly ignored each other. No acknowledgement of the other, no hellos, no eye contact, no forced little polite smiles, nothing but pure hatred and enmity.
My young barrister with her 4 years experience is smart and held her own. My ex’s barrister with over 20 years experience was charming, fair, pragmatic and sensible. Unlike his ridiculous gutter solicitor connected with the sister of the woman he had an affair with, this experienced gentleman might hopefully bring a sensible head to the crap that had previously come from the other side.
I hope that the next hearing at the end of April will bring an end to this nightmare. I can only pray so, but only time will tell but I am resigned that this ends when it ends. If we have to wait for a final trial at the end of the year, so be it.
The judge also pronounced our decree nisi. My barrister had suggested this sensible, pragmatic approach of getting the judge at our FDA to pronounce a divorce nisi while the other side’s solicitor had been busy throwing a hissy fit, writing complaints to the court for the delay in the decree nisi and getting absolutely nowhere.
I did a happy dance immediately I left court because of the decree nisi. I am one pronouncement away from legally disentangling myself from this man.
I am one step away from deleting his double barrel name from my life forever and ever. Never will I have to spell this name and be reminded of the owner who has hurt me beyond my worst nightmare.
It is very easy to dwell on the negatives of divorce but there are so many things to be grateful for, like having a wonderful supportive loving family. My mum and my sisters had prayed and fasted intensely for proceedings. My mum, a strong Catholic had also booked novena masses for me. I am extremely grateful and I am certain that God had a hand in some of the things that happened yesterday.
I am also extremely grateful for a few close friends who have been a rock and even old friends that have become close friends.
On Tuesday night, a friend I’ve known since secondary school, left her two children and spent the night at mine. On Tuesday night, we prayed together, praying again on Wednesday morning before court. We woke up at 6am on Wednesday to make our way together to court. She would come back home with me after court, for a late lunch before heading back home around 4.30pm.
She had taken a precious holiday from work to support me in court. I am so grateful that she would do that for me. This lady has been through a divorce from hell and has been a rock and a sensible head.
So…imagine my disgust when my arrogant ex asked to leave court because the judge was late for our appointed time and of course my ex is too important to wait for a judge.
You’re not that important mister to leave the court we’ve both been summoned to attend, to return to your very important life, while I waited in court with this friend who had taken a day off work because of the mess he’s caused, plus a barrister and solicitor I was paying to stay there.
My ex, like us mere mortals, was forced to wait until our case was called and we had our day in court, as dictated by the court order we had both received.
But enough of all that. It’s done. More to do in the next couple of months and I will get on with it in due course. I need a long weekend away from divorce crap and I’m taking time off.
I am happy to report that I have been back on my diet since Tuesday. On Tuesday night, I made some sweet potato crisps from scratch for my friend. It was absolutely delicious. So perhaps next time I fancy crisps, instead of shop bought ones, I shall make my own with allowable Cambridge Step Three sweet potatoes or even new potatoes.
I don’t regret the diet coke and crisps angst.
I am not superwoman; it only means that I have not conquered the demons that mean I turn to food when I am overwhelmed by stress but I can’t begin to explain the unbearable stress I have endured the last week but I’m moving on from that and doing the best I can in difficult circumstances.
Oh when I met my young solicitor yesterday (I used to have a partner manage my case day to day but I couldn’t afford her, hence the young lawyer she supervises) her first words in the excitable manner of the young:
“Oh my God. You look so young. Oh my God, I didn’t expect you to look so young. Your face. Your skin.” She had exclaimed.
We laughed and gossiped every time the barrister left the room. In one of our chats, she declared that I must find a boyfriend.
There is joy to be found in every situation we find ourselves.