Assuming it doesn’t snow and I find myself snowed in and incapacitated, in just over a week, I will find myself in a court of law fighting over finances with my ex who unfortunately remains my husband because even though he filed for divorce in June, I haven’t even been granted a decree nisi, let alone a decree absolute which will only happen after our finances are settled, however long that takes.
Following my discovery of my ex’s affair, sitting in the kitchen side by side, I told him that whatever happened in our marriage, whether it survived or not, we must be sensible and commercial, sit down like we were and sort out our finances. We both agreed that it would be stupid and senseless to go to court because the only winners would be lawyers and their fees.
I remain willing to settle my financial affairs out of court but it takes two to tango and I’m resigned to going to court for as long as it takes.
It is a sad state of affairs that my ex and I only communicate through lawyers; I have done my best to settle out of court.
I initiated financial mediation which my ex ended. I initiated an out of court offer for settlement which my ex rejected and refused to make a counteroffer.
Instead of a counteroffer, I got shit back like the knife this man has struck into my back isn’t deep enough; he needs to pull it deeper, twist the knife round and round, and find new and innovative ways to hurt me.
I still have absolutely no idea whatsoever how this man thinks our financial affairs ought to be settled because he has never said. Not for one single day.
But of course when you are stupid enough to invite other people with all sorts of ulterior motives into your marriage and into its dissolutions, you get to where I find myself; an ex who for whatever reasons best known only to him and the idiotic people he’s allowed into his life, think the best bet is to surrender the dissolution of our affairs to a court of law from which there would be no winners other than the lawyers’ coffers.
Everyday, I find new things that tell me that the person I loved for 14.5 years is long dead and in his place, is a complete stranger who has invaded his body.
Who is this person that has ignored a court mandated deadline given as far back as October? The man I loved was a sensible law abiding person who respected processes.
This arrogant piece of shit that ignores court mandated deadlines and instructs a gutter, dirty lawyer who doesn’t even have the professional courtesy to inform the other side’s lawyer of delays in meeting court deadlines, is a scumbag low life.
This person is a complete stranger to me and most definitely not the kind of company I would keep; and thankfully I don’t.
Yesterday, a friend told me how she and her ex sorted out their divorce settlement, getting a judge to rubber-stamp their agreement with praises from the judge; I envied her amicable divorce.
But things are what they are and I have no choice but to accept them and get on with it as best as I can.
This like any bad period of one’s life is only a phase; it will not last forever. It will last for as long as it lasts but not forever.
I’m staying on the diet…just.
My head even as I write this, is filled with thoughts of food and the comfort food brings but this is how I got to where I am, so I must try my best to resist. I felt proud of myself yesterday making endless coffees with biscuits, chocolates and crisps for my friend and chomping on my Cambridge bar.
My head was filled afterwards with thoughts of the yummy crisps I had served her, it still is; a little wouldn’t hurt but I know I wouldn’t stop at a little, I would eat the whole packet and hence prolong the vicious cycle of obesity.
One day at a time sweet Jesus.