This has been a FANTASTIC week on the weight loss front.
I have now lost just over 80 pounds.
But first, some thoughts….
I went on my first diet at age 9.
I have been fat all my life.
The demons in my head mean that whenever the shit hit the fan, I turn to crap food, lots and lots of it.
I am also a Taurean. We love our food.
However, I am proud that in the year from hell, going through the most horrendous divorce ever, I have lost 5 st 10 and still losing.
I am not by any stretch of the imagination trying to claim that I have conquered the demons that mean food gives me comfort; as anyone who’s read my posts in the last couple of weeks will note, I haven’t.
I am a work in progress.
I fully accept that even when I reach goal weight, (when and not if) I will spend the rest of my life battling to stay slim. That is OK because the greatest armour to success is recognising a problem.
My goal is to change the narrative of my life.
I do not wish to be that girl that eats crap when shit happens.
Easier said than done, I know.
If shit happens, I want to be that girl that hits the gym, works out as hard as possible, singing to sad love songs, belting out ABBA’s the Winner Takes it All or Gloria Gaynor’s I will Survive as loud as I can, with tears dramatically running down my eyes, like I’ve done quite a few times in my life!
If I need to ride the blues or feel full of angst and heartbreak, there are other things I could do that do not involve a packet of crisps, diet coke and takeaway.
I elect to change my life’s narrative.
This has been a fantastic week not just because I’ve lost a bunch of weight, but also because I am back in the gym.
I love fitness, I have worked out regularly for 20 years or so, even at over 127 kg, I was fit, working out 3 to 5 times a week.
Being in the gym, listening to music, singing along, if I’m in my home gym (as it will be kind of crazy to sing out loud in a public gym…) have always been a source joy for me.
I am thrilled that I have hopefully found a way to combine this low calorie diet with fitness and still lose weight.
Note to self: Well done!
Here’s hoping for another good week next week.
Week Fifty’s Verdict: today’s weight 87.9 kg, week’s weight loss 2.9 kg (6.4 pounds); total weight loss; 36.5 kg; 80.3 pounds; 5 stones 10 pounds