As I approach a second court hearing in my financial remedy hearing to divide assets between myself and my ex, I am so weary and tired, I could cry all day.
I have had very little sleep in the past week which does not help, my back hurts, my body is tired but my spirit is thankful for God’s mercies.
My heart is broken into countless little pieces with the horrific nightmare I find myself living with the end of my marriage and my ex’s inexplicable behaviour.
Even though the stress of the last few days and impending period, have been such that the scale does not show a weight I’d wish to be, I am so proud of myself this week because I haven’t resorted to pizzas and junk food like I did with the last court hearing and other divorce stress. I can’t promise that that will never happen, but I am thankful that I have felt the need for good food and lots of vegetables to cope with the stress, and not junk food.
This post isn’t a morose one to moan about my woes. It is a post of gratitude. As I write this, I am actually feeling completely overwhelmed by love.
I am overwhelmed by the love of a wonderful family, in particular, my darling mother and my wonderful three sisters. They are the rock that hold me up even when I feel like completely crumbling under the uncertainties, hurt and heartbreaks of the last 17 months.
I thank God for blessing me with a wonderful, close and loving family who always have my back.
I also thank God for the love and support of a few close friends who have an inkling of what I have been going through.
This lapsed Catholic, former convent girl and sinner always remembers God and finds comfort in Him when the chips are down. I am tired but I have faith. I have so many loved ones, priests, pastors praying for me as I go through the next court hearing, I am indeed very blessed.
I get a lot of comfort from Psalm 23.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
For his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For thine are with me;
Thou rod and thou staff,
Thou comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of my enemies;
Thou anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord