I have had a lot of love from perfect strangers who read this blog.
I feel a sense of responsibility to the people who write to tell me that I inspire them to lose weight. I owe it to them to get to the end of this weight loss journey.
I am losing weight for myself.
But today, I pledge to lose weight for every single person who follows this blog especially those who have written to say that my journey has inspired them.
I am accountable to all of you and I’m doing this not just for me but for you too.
I will try my hardest to make myself proud and to make you proud of me.
I will not disappoint you.
If I can lose weight through the implosion of my life as I knew it and the marital breakdown from hell, anyone can lose weight.
Last night my little sister called me to cheer me up as she knew I was down and she succeeded. She’s adorable.
We also talked about my diet. She told me it’s totally not worth it to give up and gain back the weight. She reminded me how far I’ve already come in this journey. I reiterated the fighting talk that giving up is not an option and I meant it.
Today is a new page in my weight loss journey.
I know how easy it is to lose a bunch of weight and put it all back again. I’ve been there countless times in my life.
It is finally time to man up and break that cycle of weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, on and on and on again on a rollercoaster of obesity.
Eating crap will not change my difficult circumstances.
Eating crap will not help me reorganise the aspects of my life I need to figure out as I move on in my life.
Feeling down is not a license to eat crap; shit happens, deal with it or drown with it.
Eating crap will only extend this journey as reflected in my Monitor Your Weight App every time I gain weight.
Eating crap will not give me the freedom to do all those things that obesity has stopped me from doing or live all those secret dreams.
Eating crap may temporary give me the high of comfort eating but it is only a very short relief that brings on other negative feelings and weight gain which do not help in the short term, let alone in the longer term.
Today is the start of a re-energised crack at losing the four stones that will take me into a healthy weight.
The timing is very bad as a taxi driver reminded me yesterday as we traded dieting history. True, it sucks to be thinking of a renewed vigour in my weight loss journey with Christmas lurking around the corner and other potential temptations such as a party at the weekend and a lunch early next week.
But the reality is that real life will never suspend itself to make every aspect of life perfectly conducive for weight loss.
I will not cancel Christmas which I expect to be a junk fest with three young children. I will not hide away at home and not attend this party or the lunch.
I will live life and just make better choices when I’m out of the bubble of home. And of course make the right choices when I’m at home too.
For the next few days or however long it takes to sort my head and stay 100% on this diet, I will be posting every single thing I eat and drink.
I will try my best to stay 100% on my diet but even if I fail, every morsel that goes from my hand to my mouth will be reported truthfully and completely in this diary.
I am accountable to you.