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When your world caves in without warning…

Say fuck-you right back by losing a stone in 10 days.

I haven’t written in my blog for some days but I am still very much keeping to my diet 100%. I hit my first stone on the Cambridge diet today. I have now lost 6.7kg.

I am extremely proud of myself for sticking to the diet 100% because my world as I know it is crumbling all around me. It has all gone disastrously wrong without any warning whatsoever. There have been countless crying, angry and hurt words, and sleepless nights. I am physically and emotionally drained.

The pre-Cambridge me would have been drowning in chocolates, takeaways, restaurants, very expensive and seriously yummy bread and baked goods from somewhere lovely like Daylesford and I would have used my breaking heart as an excuse to console myself with food, lots of it, the worse for me, the better. My retail therapy would most certainly have entailed buying very expensive chocolates, lying in bed and eating them all.

Not this time. Not any more.

Nothing and no one will derail this diet but myself and right now, I have zero intentions of self-sabotaging. I hope this resolve continues. It’s not really so much about willpower or mentally sorting out the screwed part of my head that uses food as comfort, it’s more about the fact that there is no hunger or craving on the Cambridge diet. OK, I miss my favourite meats especially roast lamb, (and lots of it!) and I have rationalised that if I really want to, I could treat myself to lamb at Easter without kicking myself out of ketosis. But even with the sleepless nights, there have been no cravings for carbs.

So life has hit me with a serious curveball and instead of the destructive and vicious cycle of weight gain, I bought myself some flowers…even though they sent the wrong bunch. I’m also excitedly awaiting delivery of a new non-stick pan for omelettes. I suspect I will be having omelettes again tonight, for the third night in a roll.

Rock and roll.

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I’m Coming Out…

Day 6

This morning I weighed and I hadn’t lost anything for the first time in five days of this diet but instead, I have gained 0.2kg. You know what, I won’t sweat it. I’m embracing the fact that so far, I have lost over 11 pounds in 5 full days on the diet. That’s something very positive. Weight fluctuates, the body retains water, I am still on my period, I might have lost fat and retained water, there are all sorts of reasons why I might not have lost weight. The important thing is that I have stuck to the diet 100% every day since I started. This diet works for other people, it will work for me. This time next week, I want to have hit the one stone mark or be very near it.

For someone that has gained weight, albeit, very small, I am surprising chirper. In fact, prior to writing this, I was blasting music loudly and dancing to Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out”. I’m alone in the house and I played it a few times.

Given that all I have “eaten” all day is Cambridge porridge in the morning (149 calories), milk allowance, (144), soup for lunch (141 calories) and so far, 2700 ml of water, where is all this energy coming from?

I think there is only one thing for it. Could I have already been proven wrong? Could that pale colour on a stick this morning with me half asleep be what I think it is? Surely there could only be one reason for the energy and good mood.

I think, I hope, I’m fairly sure that I’m in K.E.T.O.S.I.S! Yeah baby.

I’ve always thought the Diana Ross’ song is about coming out of the closet but today, it takes on new empowering meaning as I really listen to the lyrics and music, posted below. As I chip away the fat, I am truly coming out.

World, are you ready? Ready or not here I come…

I’m coming out
I’m coming
I’m coming out
I’m coming out
I’m coming out

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

There’s a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give
I’m completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I’ll make it through

The time has come for me
To break out of this shell
I have to shout
That I am coming out

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show
I’m coming
I’m (coming out) coming
(I want the world to know)
(I got to let it show)

I’ve got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my abilities
There’s so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I’ve planned
I’m spreadin’ love
There is no need to fear
And I just feel so good
Everytime I hear

I’m coming out
Coming
(I want the world to know)
(I got to let it show)
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show

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Day 5 – Friday Official Weigh-In Day

I’ve now been on the Cambridge Diet for four full days. I seem to have settled into the diet. The hunger pangs have disappeared and I seem to force myself to eat, rather than eating out of hunger. I already feel a difference; my legs feel lighter and the top that I have been using to weigh with my consultant feels looser.

Even though I only started on Monday, this morning, I had my official weigh-in with my lovely Cambridge consultant because we had decided to make Fridays our meeting days.

I am thrilled to report that in four days, I have lost 5.5 kg, that is, 12 pounds. I am two pounds away from losing my first stone.

H.A.P.P.Y