4

This Divorced and Childless Woman’s Mother’s Day

Life is a funny old one.

What do you do on Mother’s Day when you are divorced/single and childless, and the whole world seem hell bent on celebrating their children?

This year, like I do most years, I decided to concentrate on the positive fact that I am lucky enough to have a wonderful mother who is still alive. I think of my friends who have lost their mums and I reach out to them to show some love. The day would usually pass without much drama or sadness. It is what it is.

This Mother’s Day, I had gone to bed late on Saturday night or should I say Sunday morning (2.48am bad, bad, bad, bad girl!) and around 9am on Sunday morning, in that dreamy/wakey/confused state, my door bell rang. I sleepily went to the video intercom and I could see a lady.

“I’ve got flowers.” With my eyes half closed, I couldn’t really make out the figure on the video screen.

“Flowers?” I answered sleepily as if she had just declared that she was dropping an alien from outer space on my doorstep.

“I’ve got flowers for xxxx xxxx.” My local florist said, saying my full name.

My scrabbled brain tried to decipher what on earth she was on about. My brain worked overtime trying to figure out who on earth could be sending me flowers. Various names flashed through my head and just as quickly, I discarded them. Could it have been the man I went on the date on Friday who I did not intend to see again? But he didn’t know my full name. And why on earth would he be sending me flowers? Stalker alert. Who on earth could it be from? I knew no one. I had no one. There was no one. This is odd.

“Could you please leave it on the porch?” I informed the florist whose van I could see on my video screen.

I sleepily went downstairs to the porch with the gait of a special agent about to solve the crime of the century. I would have to be extremely careful with this package. It clearly wasn’t some sort of assassination attempt as I recognised both the florist and her van. Then again it could be.

And there it was.

The most beautiful bunch of flowers I have received in longer than I can remember.

Flowers 2018

I reached for the card attached to the side. It read:

Happy Mother’s Day to our second mum.

Thank you for always being there for us.

We love you.

X Y and Z.

The flowers were from my nephews (aged 16 and 18) and my niece (aged 13)

Flower card 2018

These precious, most adorable, super awesome, generous, kind, sweetest kids have spent money they don’t have to send their auntie, a most gorgeous hand tied, bunch of flowers, timed to be hand delivered on Mother’s Day, with the increased premium.

The overwhelming gratitude and love I feel for these kids, and to my sister for raising such generous, kind, thoughtful kids, is more than I can express on this post.

I am very blessed indeed.

 

 

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8

Day 214 – I Stop And Smell The Roses..

It has been an eventful week.

A week ago, my husband came to our former much loved home to pick up his stuff after the longest saga ever.

You share 14.5 years with someone and he collects his things packed in black rubbish bags. Sad.

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If my ex has been affected in any way by the end of his marriage or the finality of collecting his things, he didn’t show it.

He was more interested in collecting unopened and opened bottles of brandy. I told him to enjoy.

If he was expecting drama from me, he got absolutely none.

I was cool, calm, collected, helpful and civil.

The truth is I am exhausted by life. He could take whatever he wanted to, I didn’t really care to be honest. He could have it only. They are only things.

At the end of the visit, my wonderful friend T who has been a rock and was with me said how surprised and proud of me she was and how I offered even more things than my ex had asked for.

She was livid with my ex. She said that all she wanted to do was to chuck his books and playstation games in his smug face and to tell him to fuck off when he laughingly said he needed to use the toilet. She couldn’t believe how blasé he was about everything. It was all so easy for him. Was he really concerned about brandy bottles? Seriously?

I was overwhelmed with sadness after the visit.

It all seemed so easy for this man that I had given so many years of my life to move on. I guess it sort of hit me that the last time my ex was in our home in April, we were still married, with a chance of working on our marriage and here we are, in such few months, complete strangers. All those shared lives, travels, restaurants, parties, adventures, experiences, hopes, aspirations; all nothingness, all meaningless.

But then something happens that shocks me out of my pity party for one…

My darling mother was involved in a bad car crash this Sunday. There could have been three corpses or serious injuries, and yet, the three of them walked away from that crash totally fine.

This is nothing short of a miracle.

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I can’t imagine my life without my dearest mum in it. I just can’t even contemplate that possibility. It scares the shit out of me.

I stop and count my blessings.

It puts things in perspective.

It puts the end of my marriage in perspective.

No one died.

In other news, my home looks like a florists with gorgeous flowers from my lovely, kind friends.

I stop and smell the roses.

I count my blessings.

I am a lucky girl.

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